Worth

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about worth, and what self-worth means. Almost every women that I speak with about portraits struggles with feeling that everyone else in the family deserves having photos more than they do, and when they do finally decide that they’re going to go for it, they’re worried. Do you find yourself saying the following?

“My arms are too flabby.”

“I need to lose weight.”

“Can you make my nose not so prominent?”

“Please remove my muffin top.”

“I’m just not photogenic.”

“My kids should have pictures taken instead.”

“I hate my….(insert body part here).

If you find yourself saying these things, please stop! I don’t care whether your arms have the loose bits, or whether they’re toned, or whether you aren’t a willowy size 2—or whether you are! I don’t care whether you have a rounded tummy or whether you sport 6-pack abs! I don’t care whether you have a big nose or thin lips or “man” hands or a small butt or a large one.

More importantly, those who LOVE YOU don’t care.

Whether you are large or small, fat or thin, tall or short, have soft features or angular features, age spots, veins, droopy eyelids or not, thinning hair, thick unruly hair, big feet, small feet—or any other descriptive feature:

YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING PHOTOGRAPHED.

I read a beautiful article by Teri Hofford recently that talks, among other things, about not wanting to be photographed because you want to lose weight. Let me quote her because she says it way better than I:

“Unlike rides at the fair, photography will not reject you for existing in a body over a certain size. There is no magical number for you to be worthy of gracing the camera.There is no “before” and “after” weightloss - there is only now and now is worthy of being documented because YOU are the same person regardless of what your body does or does not look like…Photography itself is a great equalizer - its only job is to capture moments in time. If you experience a moment - you are eligible to be photographed. If you exist in any way shape or form and are capable of reflecting photons (if you are reading this, you can) - you are eligible to be photographed.”

So there you have it.

Now look, I can understand wanting to have a different body, or not being happy or feeling yourself after gaining a few pounds or looking in the mirror day after day and focusing on your so-called “flaws”. I hate that word, because they’re not flaws, but for want of another that’s the one I’ll use here. I get it. I’ve gained weight and lost weight and then gained again. I have hooded eyes that I’ve been self-conscious about. My hair has a mind of its own, my neck has wrinkles that I wish weren’t there, and I wish my teeth were whiter even after using whiteners! But that doesn’t have anything at all to do with my worth. And these kinds of things have nothing whatsoever to do with yours.

Again, from Teri:

“But what if I look FAT in my photos?”

What if you do?
What does it mean?
What does that represent?
Does the fatness take away from the fact that you did an amazing thing?

The reality is, you MIGHT look fat in your photos.
As a FAT person, I ALWAYS look FAT in my photos.
AND I look powerful.
AND I look sexy.
AND I look strong.
AND I look confident.
AND I had fun.
AND I felt empowered.
AND I did something scary.
AND I found things out about myself I never knew before.
Your photos are valuable
Whether or not you appear FAT in your photos
- you’ve just been taught otherwise.
The real question is:

“Would I rather look fat or not have existed at all?”

So get in front of the camera! Exist in photographs! YOU matter, not your body shape, size, or features. Those things are irrelevant to the incredible woman that YOU ARE.

And that woman is more than worthy to be captured in time. Right now.

You and your family will love you for it.

The article by Teri Hofford can be found here.

Teri Hofford, photographed by me, 09/21